A Letter To The Mom I Thought I’d Be

Hey there,

We haven’t talked in so long. I think I may have been avoiding you and for that, I’m sorry. It’s been a crazy couple of years.

I’ve been wanting to touch base and follow up on a few things. I can’t lie, I’m feeling a bit self conscious and embarrassed…you had some grand plans. You “knew” your path into motherhood and was determined to follow it.

And I think I’ve fallen short.

I’ve realized in the last few years that life, real ACTUAL life, doesn’t give a shit about our plans. Or what we thought or hoped for. It’s been a tough lesson to learn.

Photo by Matt Hoffman on Unsplash

You felt so sure of things back then, felt totally prepared. You had your mom goals and objectives set. You’d read the books, watched the videos, made your lists. Your confidence was admirable.

I will be honest, I tried really hard. I stayed flexible on those plans, reset goals as life got in the way. Gave up way more than I ever thought I would.

I’ve said and done and thought things you never would have dreamed of. Things you would have judged so harshly back in the day…but you didn’t know! You had no clue what this life actually is. You had not the slightest inkling what it is like to have these babies, mold them into decent people, help them thrive.